To be a Dominant

"All Dominant Women are fat, ugly, demanding and rude."
After years of living with Dominant Woman as My sexual identity, this is a presentation of Myself I keep running into. When I meet somebody in the flesh and turn out to be an ordinary woman, it almost seems like they are disappointed. What is there to rant against, when I could just as well be their aunt or next-door neighbour of the non-abrasive kind? There is an underlying aggression which is almost painful in most contact with submissives, particularly submissive men. They treat Me as if I have no feelings, no sensitivity, I am just a Bitch, and they do Me a favour by letting Me do what ever I want to their body. Because they really want to submit, you know, and I had better take the opportunity NOW, or they are off to new and better Dominants before the next possible date.


"You are not really a Dominant."
Well, if that means I am not fat, ugly and rude, I guess I should feel blessed. But there are so many ideas about Dominance, and they are so closely connected to porn, Professional Dominance and leather protocol, that I am starting to doubt My own kink. I adore submissives and submission, and their submission turns Me on no end. When I am spoiled and worshipped I walk around perpetually aroused and high on self-confidence and what-ever drug My hormones release into My bloodstream. It blows My mind. And I give back, by taking control, by molding the relationship to match us, by acting on My desires as a Dominant and sadist - I am not a Do-Me-Domme. And then I get told I am not Dominant. Mostly because I am not a Bitch, I am polite, I even say please when I give an order (Kneel here please. Take My shoes off please. Now kiss each toe please. Good, now bend over, and spread your ass cheeks please. Just hold that pose while I fasten the strap on, will you?) I don't wear much leather, I sometimes play naked, I get orgasms and I let My partners cum too, rather frequently, when I am in the mood for that. From what I understand from much of the male submissive descriptions of Dominant Women, I am not really a Dominant when I do this. Actually, from what the Dominant Women write too.


"Dominance isn't about sex"
I think this one comes from the very heavy argumentation that professional dominance is not prostitution. But this is one of the heaviest reasons for attacks such as the above. A Dominant Woman is not one who delivers sexual services or relief. If they are, then all the professional Dominants can be considered prostitutes, and that would severely change the status and the economy of Female Dominance particularly in the USA. Hence, women like Me, who get insanely turned on by living as a Dominant, we can't be Dominants. We must simply be sluts catering to our partners.


At times this is enough to make Me want to give up. Burn the canes and bury the floggers, donate the corsets to the local opera community and use the ropes for the boat, which they supposedly were bought for. I get so sick of the negative descriptions, the imagery, the expectations which are so very far from both something nice, and the truth. Yes, I am a pervert. I like to see people suffer, I like to get things My way, I like to give orders.

But I would never, ever, at any point, be able to live with Myself if I deliberately made another person unhappy, being what I am. I'd rather live vanilla for the rest of My life, than be a constant source of endless misery to all the submissives out there, trapped between their desire and the endless cruelty of women who are categorised the same way as Me. I can't deal with the thought, and it makes most of the discussions about Female Dominance almost physically painful to Me.

Sometimes, the ones who do submit to Me, tell Me that I am too nice, in the meaning that I care too much. If I just stopped caring, I'd be a better Domme.

Is that the key to it all? All the Dommes out there have realised that they just have to not give a damn?